Doxie Proxy

Same

I’ve just come back from several days with family in another state. The “hearthstone” of my life, I suppose you could call it. Someone I love is ill. She’s been sick off and on for a long time, and it’s exacerbated some traits I hadn’t really given much thought to before.

I started to write about all she’s done for me, but suffice it to say she’s been there for me, a lot. My grown-up self can now look back and say I’ve been there for her a lot, too, and as of this week, we’re even. Maybe forever.

My mother hugged her and cried, asking forgiveness for something every single one of us agree she should have and HAD to do, and this particular relative didn’t so much as twitch. My mother. Cried. And this… God, how I pause at this point. Do I say angry? Bitter? Hateful? When at the same time, my heart tells me she’s a loving person, and I know this because her life has been about helping wounded people. Nonetheless, she didn’t acknowledge how much pain my mother was in, and how she was practically begging for forgiveness over this imagined sin, and that, to coin a Southern phrase, just FLEW ALL OVER ME. (I don’t care where the phrase originated from; the South’s where I grew up hearing it.)

My mom stepped out of the room and I let loose with both barrels. God, I was so furious that I was shaking, and I could feel the flushing starting on my chest and going all the way up to my temples. I blasted her with this great righteous indignation, full of thunder that my beloved mom had been hurt.

I spent the night tossing and turning. At 3am I was looking at the clock, saying “God, what did I do? What did I do? How could I say that?” I haven’t seen her since, and I don’t know if I’ll ever see her again. A big part of me says that I’m done, completely. She’s been hateful and horrible and bitter and beyond the most nightmarish of people that you could ever want to be around, and right now I feel like a gigantic ass, because I could have been more compassionate. Damn it. I could never, ever hate her, and will always love her, but right now.. I don’t think we like each other very much.

(Note to self: No, really, jackass?)

There’s no contest between my mother and any other female in this world. None. I love her with every fiber of my being, and will do everything I can to protect her from harm. I am so blessed. So very blessed.

It will probably not last long, but there is a tiny spark of hope within me.

I am 5 days late.

Please, God. Please.

Tags: family, vacation

DragonCon, Day 2

Highlights:

• Went to a wonderful Torchwood panel with Ianto and James Marsters. (I squee’d. Yes, indeed.)
• James Marsters autograph!
• George Takei autograph!
• Saw Gaius, Worf, Robert Picardo, Chekov, Mal (Firefly), Chiana, Virginia Hey, Adama, Erin Gray, Lou Ferrigno, Wash (Firefly), and several others.
• Took an insane number of photos of some seriously great costumes.
• Went to Imperial Fez for supper. Meh. The service is delightful, but the prices are ridiculous ($4 for a glass of run-of-the-mill lemonade [our waiter actually said it was Minute Maid]), the food, although good, is no more than mildly above average, and the atmosphere is lovely. All in all, it wasn’t worth the $143 (yes, that’s right - One hundred, forty-three dollars) we paid for the two of us.

My feet and shoulders are killing me. Going to hit the sack and dream of Spike!

Tags: Dragon*Con

Dragons and Cardinals

Ah, the blissful frenzy of vacation.

We arrived in Atlanta (right outside, actually) yesterday, and enjoyed a quiet, enjoyable night with loved ones. I love the South, with all of its manners, Godawful humidity and moseying madness.

This afternoon, we headed to Atlanta proper to pick up our convention badges. The line stretched around three sides of the Hyatt, and it was delightful to see so many different kinds of people coming together in the common love of Geekdom. I loved it! The line moved forward at a relatively steady clip, and about and hour and a half later, we had our shiny new Dragon*Con badges, Pocket Program and Guidebook.

The best part? The guidebook has an excerpt from the beginning of Swallowing Darkness, the new Laurell K. Hamilton book in her wonderful Merry Gentry series. I. Can’t. Wait!  I was practically dancing in my seat on the way home, and kept shushing Mister so I could read in peace. It’s going to be a great book, and I can’t believe I am actually going to meet her! Or see her, whatever! I’m going to be in the same room with Laurell K. Hamilton!

<insert squeal of pure joy>

I could go on and on in the same vein (Vampire pun!) about Rachel Caine and Jackie Kessler, because I’m disgustingly thrilled to be getting to see them, as well. I can’t wait. Have I mentioned that I can’t wait?

Back at the house, I watched the sun set, and walked through dew-laden, freshly cut grass. It was magic. A stone cardinal stood watch over a tiny moat, and all was right with the world.

Dusk in Georgia

Tags: Dragon*Con, photos, vacation

Windows Live Writer

Per Delicious.com, I learned about a blog-publishing software that’s new to me (but it would seem I’m the last to find out about it). I’m trying it out. We’ll see how it goes.

One month till Dragon*Con. I can hardly wait! Laurell K. Hamilton is one of my all-time, abso-freaking-lutely favorite authors, and she’s going to be there. I am beside myself with joy. I cannot begin to explain how happy this makes me. DH and I have been doing the annual “geek convention” thing for years, but we’ve always gone to GenCon. Last year’s GenCon sucked. It sucked bad. It sucked canal water. The quality of the convention had been going down for a few years, but it’d never been as wretched as it was in 2007. The LAN, which used to be open nearly non-stop (closed at 4AM, I think), was suddenly put inside the exhibit hall, which closed around 5PM. This really stunk for gamers who used to hit up the LAN at night, after everything else was done or seen. The swag was craptastic, for the most part (there was some good stuff), and the celebrity guests were a few folks from Who Wants to Be A Superhero. They seemed nice (Fat Momma was great!), but it just wasn’t up to par with the media guests from years past. (Side note: Hayden Panettiere showed up as a surprise guest, and signed autographs for free. She was simply gorgeous, courteous, and I was truly impressed.)

With that ramble aside, Rachel Caine is also going to be at Dragon*Con! She writes the wonderful Weather Warden series of books. Fantastic, indeed. I can’t wait to meet her!

Edit 08/19/08: WLW is a great software, and was very user-friendly. I ended up going the Wordpress route, but not at all due to WLW.  

Tags: blogging software, conventions, Dragon*Con, Laurell K. Hamilton, Rachel Caine, Windows Live Writer