Doxie Proxy

Loss.

My friend died a few days ago. She was sweet and kind and good, and I can’t imagine this world without her.

I miss you, B.

Everyone says she took her own life by overdosing, but I just don’t understand. I know she had a history of depression, and will never, ever blame her for choosing that end, if she did in fact go that route. I know depression can black out every other person and choice in your life, and make you feel as if there’s only one way through the pain.

God, B.

Damn it, here come the tears again.

Honey, I can still see your face the last time I saw you. It was only two weeks ago. Your expression was so sweet and open, and like always, you seemed genuinely concerned about me and Mister. You even asked about Abigail.

How… why..? I can’t even..I don’t know what to ask or what to think. How can you not be in this world anymore? Where are you?

How come there are so many vile, hateful, horrible, vicious people walking about out there, but you, who has been nothing but precious in the five years I’ve known you, are not? How can that be right? How can that be…at all?

I miss you, B. It’s not right. It’s just not right.

I will never forget your soft, sing-song voice, or the way you kept your temper and showed patience with some of the persons you had to deal with.

This is not coming out right, but all I know is that I miss you so much, and I hope you know that. I love you, girlfriend, and I would give much just to hug you one more time.

You and Crystal keep the peace up there, OK?

Love you. Miss you.

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